I’ve been reading wedding blogs religiously for quite a few months now. That may not be a long time but I have done a lot of reading and not once have I read about those dreaded fights with your fiance. Well, we had one today. It was over something silly, and most of what we were mad about had nothing to do with the wedding.
Without going into the gory details, I’ll give you the breakdown.
The date we wanted was not available at our venue. Josh came in the door right as I was talking to my mom about it. He had a really long day and I bombarded him with questions and decisions that needed to be made. Over the next hour, the argument weaved in and out of regular conversation until we finally ended up on the bed to talk only about the problem. I wanted to pick a date right then and book the church ASAP and he wanted to “sleep on it”. At this point I was so worried that everything was going to be booked in the next five minutes. It escalated and I walked out of the room.
Later, I took him to his night class and when he got home the flood gates opened. We sat for over an hour in the living room talking about what was really bothering us. My argument was that it didn’t feel like he cared about the wedding and wanted to put things off while I worked hard to plan. He felt I was being pushy and insensitive about the new things he was adjusting too (new job, new semester, busy schedule… for the both of us, really). And we were both right. We apologized and meant it. (This is key. Mean it!!!)
The rest of this evening has been amazing. It was full of intimacy and love and fun and we ended up picking a date in about 30 seconds.
I guess the most important thing to know about arguments caused by wedding frenzy is to remember why you’re getting married. You LOVE this person. They make you a better everything. Person, sister, daughter, lover, student, employee, you name it. Next on the list of vital information is to actually EXPLAIN what’s wrong. I’m the worst with this. I can count the number of times I’ve said “I’m fine” with tears streaming down my face. Ladies, he can’t fix anything if you don’t tell him what’s wrong. So explain it. Don’t yell it and lecture it. Explain it.
Best of luck on your trip to wedded bliss!!!